Welcome to Biz the cat's blog. It is my prayer that you can find information here that will help you in your difficult walk with your cat who has illness, especially squamous cell carcinoma (SCC).

While it may be the most difficult thing you've faced, I encourage you to check out the links in the right-hand column and also to know that, even though it doesn't feel like it just now, one day you will walk through this terrible time and come out on the other side.

And most of all, I encourage you to turn to the Creator God, Who knows your heartbreak and stands ready to comfort you. He created me, you and your beloved cat and wants a special relationship with you. He is the Balm of Gilead, the Great Physician and the Lord God. Trust Him and reach out to Him.

December 1, 2008

RINGOES, N.J. -- A medical marvel in more ways than one, Tashi the kitten was born with a congenital spinal chord condition that paralyzed his hind legs. But Tashi, unaware of his handicap, is still making every effort to walk.

Rescued from a feral cat colony in Ohio, nearly 6-month-old Tashi recently arrived at Tabby's Place, a cage-free cat sanctuary in Ringoes.

"Everyone was very excited about Tashi coming," said Tabby's Place founder, Jonathan Rosenberg.

Tabby's Place specializes in finding homes for cats in desperate circumstances. If not placed, cats like Tashi can remain at the New Jersey facility for life.

Tabby's Place founder Jonathan Rosenberg and I have something in common: we both lost our beloved tabby cats to cancer. My cat's struggle with cancer is chronicled in this blog. His cat's name? Tabby!

I'm thankful that Tabby's Place exists to be good stewards of the companion animals that God has given us. I support Tabby's Place financially because they do what I cannot: help cats in hopeless situations. Will you consider doing the same?

As you read through my blog about Biz, my cat who had SCC (Squamous Cell Carcinoma), you'll also find out that Biz's companion, Zach, succumbed to some kind of blood cancer in Nov, 2004.

But I want you to also know that life does go on and you can heal from the loss of your beloved!

While I cherish the memories of Biz and Zach and still mourn their loss even today, I've been blessed with two new kitties (one of which is already listed in another posting - her name is Zadie) and now Zadie has Zeb for companionship.

Check out Zeb's picture:


Zeb and Zadie like to hang out together and they bring joy to our household. Life after Biz at first was very hard, but I want to encourage you that one day, maybe not too far away, you can walk out on the other side of the pain and share your heart with a new beloved kitty (or kitties)!

Here's Zeb and Zadie together:

Zach (who was at one time Biz's companion) crossed over the "rainbow bridge" to kitty "heaven" yesterday afternoon (Sunday, 11/21/04). Zach had some kind of blood cancer, but we're not sure what it was, and was only diagnosed last Thursday (11/18/04).

We did not have to make the difficult decision to put him to sleep because he died on his own timing. For that, I'm very thankful. Once he exhibited signs that he was really, really sick, he was gone in 5 days. That was a blessing, too, for he did not suffer long.

Zach is buried right beside Biz in the backyard.

Rest in peace, Zach.

I'm in sorrow again as my other cat, Zach, has been diagnosed with either lymphoma or multiple myeloma. It doesn't matter which, because he is fading very quickly.

Zach is a black domestic long-hair, about 11.5 years old. I noticed this summer that he was losing a little weight and I took him to the Vet in July where they did complete blood work (a normal check for all senior cats), and a urinalysis and everything was normal except for an elevated sugar level, which is normal for stressed-out cats at the Vet.

But recently, within the last few weeks, Zach didn't seem himself and is obviously losing much weight (from 15.5 pounds in July to about 11 this week) and this past Wed morning, Zach was basically unresponsive to food or petting - he obviously felt very bad. So we took him Thurs morning to the Vet where he diagnosed the cancer.

What I'm struggling with now is my own hypocracy: many folks have emailed me in the two years since Biz died and I've (hopefully) encouraged them with words like "I'm convinced cats don't fear death; it's a natural part of their lives," and "You'll know when the time comes that you must put your beloved to sleep." But now, those words ring hollow with me, because I'm staring in the face the loss of another beloved cat and the difficult decision of when to put him out of his misery.

Lord Jesus, be with me and give me courage, wisdom and strength. Thank You for the great years I've had with Zach (my big pookie). Please relieve Zach of any pain he is experiencing. Give me supernatural wisdom about how to care for him in these last days. Let me turn Zach into Your loving hands, for You created him. In Your Name I pray, Amen.

Well, it has been two years since I lost my beloved Biz.

It has not been easy at times, as I remember her and especially her last days on Earth. But, I'm so thankful she is out of any pain or suffering. There's too much of that in the world today, both in the animal AND the human kingdoms.

I would like to encourage those of you still grieving the loss of your beloveds -- or who are currently going through a very difficult and painful walk with your beloved who is ill -- that you will, someday, be able to come out on the "other side" where the pain you feel over your loss is less than the great memories you have together. It can happen! It is possible. Please tuck that away in the back of your heart and hold on to that hope of a better day.

For me, I have bonded with my "kitty buddy," Zadie, whom we got from an animal shelter about 3 months after Biz died. Zadie is similar to Biz in some ways, but, of course, different in wonderful ways. We still also have our older cat, Zach, who gets pounced on by Zadie from time to time.

For me, Biz will always be so very special. But my heart has healed enough to let Zadie come fully in with a bond that is precious and one that I wistfully think, from time to time, that will be lost to death one day. Either her death, or mine. I know I shouldn't dwell on that day of separation from Zadie, but it's always there, and I always wonder in the back of my mind if I'll have to struggle with Zadie (or Zach) like I struggled with Biz's sickness. We shall see. Until then, I'll keep my eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfector of my faith and know that He will be with me, even until the end of the age (mine, Zadie's and Zach's).

Today is the one year anniversary of the loss of my beloved Biz.

I admit I've struggled over the past month - especially with horrible visions of her last minutes as the Vet came to my house to put her to sleep.

Biz was extremely afraid of strangers up to the very end and struggled to get away from the Vet as she tried to squirt some stuff in Biz's mouth to start to calm her down so that she could start administering the euthanasia solution.

The pictures from Biz's last minutes on Earth will be etched in my mind forever. I could literally haunt myself with those pictures for the rest of my life, bringing up pain that flows instantly out as tears.

But what good does that do me? What good does it do Biz? She is gone! Safely out of pain! Not suffering! So why torture myself with those horrid images?

Then, I make a conscious choice to remember that I made the best decision I could for Biz, to release her from her suffering, and that I have soooooo many GOOD memories with her and then I choose to not let those negative images flood my mind. Sometimes I have to sing a hymn or read a book or something like that to refocus my mind. Even looking at a photograph of Biz helps.

So, my beloved Biz, I do miss you, but I am so thankful for the times we shared and that you are not suffering from cancer any more.

Rest in peace, my beloved. "You're my kitty!"